yanting.

Opening sooonnnn..

2012-02-22T20:56:00.001+08:00

The lady boss just got her license on Monday! Congrats to her. Tmr shall be my turn to get that license in order to help her in the kitchen.

Kinda excited for the opening which will be tmr I heard. And we'be already got the 1st reservation on Friday for 8 pax! Praise the Lord!!

People out there reading this post, drop by to visit us!

The address can be found in the nAme card below..

Operating hours: 5pm - 2am daily.

大家乐火锅!

2012-02-20T08:56:00.001+08:00

So after so much preparation, mama's shop is about to start operating for business.

As much as I could, I thank God for His guidance to guide my mum and uncle thru this period of time. HE has provided them with the sources they needed and of course the financial means as well.

It's no doubt that we're all worried that the business might not do well, for mum has used up dad's savings to start this business to earn a little living for us.

But well, she and the little shop will still be in my daily prayers and I pray that the Lord will continue being with them and guide them thru.

So yup, we've been having steamboat dinner lately that I guess before the shop open, we'll be pretty sick of it by then! Hahah.. And the amount of food is really..... Alot!! Hehe.. And we managed to finished all the food though.

Something nice to share about: her Tom yum soup is now ready to be sold! It's so nice.. That everyone were like saying "waa, nice leh" is a super great relive to hear that though and of course the smile on her face is really priceless. After all the long hours in t the kitchen she made it!! So proud of her. Haha

And ya!!!! This 2 days I've been washing so many dishes!! Never I'my entire life I have washed so many dishes! It's a record-breaking memory to be written in my diary ah? Haha

The V day.

2012-02-15T18:33:00.001+08:00

How did you guys spent your v'day with your loved ones? Friends? Family? Boyfriend? Girlfriend?

Well, I had at least spend a little simple one with the boyfriend. No roses, no gifts no nothing. But we managed to have our dinner settled at Char-grill bar. They sell mainly western and yup.. They can be easily found in almost all the coffee shops! Haha.. Budget la. That's why. :p

Anyways, I guess I received what I needed and wanted for the longest time. Well, a few months to be exact. I finally received a long goodnight message from him!! It made me smiled in the morning feeling the best I could I ever, in months! (:

I just cannot stop loving him! At times I do admit we got terrible times. Who doesn't? Right?
But yup.. I see the effort my boyfriend's putting in and I hope this will be constant!

Love you boy!

2012-02-14T23:44:00.001+08:00

It's v'day night but I feel like crying so badly. Nothing bad happened, but I just kinda feel empty inside me.

The V Day.

2012-02-10T11:09:00.001+08:00

This Valentine's Day, may I ask for more love, forgiveness, acceptance and appreciation within us.

Any relation?

2012-02-10T10:36:00.001+08:00

This picture has brought tears to my eyes. More then often when I'm down, when I face challenges in life, i fail to look up to God. I forgot to place my trust within His care. I even forgot Proverbs 3:5-6 " Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not into thine own understanding. In all they ways, acknowledge Him, and he shall direct thy paths"

And yes! I never fail to lean unto my own understanding. I tell God, let me handle this on my own. I know what I am doing. Thankfully, He never allowed me to be on my own. He was there for me and is always there and will always there for me.

Thank you Lord, for reminding me every time that i am never alone even at the darkest hour of my life.

Can I?

2012-01-11T09:55:00.001+08:00

Am I allow to be sensitive/jealous when I see things I'm unhappy with?

2011-12-17T20:25:00.001+08:00

The awkward moment when Jireh said " eh, when you all got cramps ah, we got look after you all de what." (he's referring to his gf). Then I pause and stop and remembered the msg saying "look after yourself ah" and I went erm.. Okay.

Wondering..

2011-12-17T15:40:00.001+08:00

I’m wondering how does it feels like when i see couple walking down the streets, hand in hand chatting so happily. I wonder to myself, what are they talking about? Why have they got so much happy moments to share? Do they fight as much as myself too? I wonder.

And then i see couples fighting in the middle of the street. Tears, anger and words, they are in their own world. And then i wonder to myself, whose gonna give in to this fight? Whose gonna make the effort to apologize? and what may the topic be that have led them to this fight?

And then i see proposal of FaceBook, YouTube, those sweet proposal lines and i wonder how true they are? Even it might be true, how long will this be able to last?

Then i see pregnant ladies, the fortunate ones, whose husbands will hold her hands, carry her barangs, sending her back and forth from work, Making sure that she’s alright. Accepting the tantrums that she has due to hormonal changes. Then i wonder, how long will they be able to put up? 1st child? 2nd or 3rd?

More then often i am being reminded that during courtship, it will be a totally different experience as compared to a relationship. Different from a relationship? Reason being, the guy might not have achieved what he wants, which that is the girl. So in order to make her his, i guess he will go all out, to do whatever he can, to give what he has, to put in his utmost effort to make her his. What happens when she becomes his? Will everything still remain the same? No. What for? She is now his. So why put in all this effort? All this efforts are just acts to make her convince that he really wanted her. No?

If not why?

I thought by giving the relationship what i have got is the best. I thought by apologizing in every fight will make things resolved. I thought by giving you whatever you want you will be happy. I thought be forgiving your mistakes will make us a better couple. i thought.. i thought… Yes, until i made a mistake.

and that’s the end.

“To love and to be loved” – and i still wonder how does it feels like.

God is the Creator of all things

2011-12-10T19:44:00.001+08:00

My prove to point out His creations and wonders of nature?
Here. Aren't this wonderful enough?

one in a million.

2011-12-10T19:38:00.001+08:00

So, last night to start it off, i decided to went along with the plans that they had for the dinner. Yes, its indeed a friday night. Being an Adventist may not be easy to meet the worldly expectations, the temptations and etc.

I do admit at times it really troubles me. I asked myself, God why do we have to keep the Sabbath, why do we have to attend church on Saturdays, why do we have to go thru all these temptations to be asked to go out on Friday nights.

Me being me, i really do love my colleagues. I really want to be there on every outing and to laugh and joke around. But yup, i know keeping the Sabbath is more important then another things and i really hope they will be able to understand that, or maybe not?

haha..

Anyways, over the topic of that. I went along with Jo, Sherman, Francis and Xu Yang! The usual people who will non-stop suan-ing one another. Maybe that’s the ultimate way we use to communicate? :p

Sakae Sushi – my usual dish, Salmon Don. We unpaiseh-ing sat in the restaurant for more then 2 hours, talking non-stop and laughing our asses off the seat. Then they decided to have Starbucks over the bridge and next to the merlion. There, we managed to root our asses facing the beautiful MBS, for many hours.

Talking of MBS, I can tell that Xu Yang is super elated to start planning for the Chalet/MBS stayover and of course with many plans for that day. I can’t wait, seriously. I wonder how is it like to spend the whole day together, out from office with activities line up. Imagine swimming in that spectacular pool right on top of MBS. WAAAHH!! the laughters that we pour in, im sure it will be a super exhausting day to end with.

But hey, is it better to end the day tired cos you’re happy or is it better to end the day with gloomy feelings? i would want to end my day exhausted but happy.

Come to think of it, its been quite sometimes since i really had a good laugh with funny people around me. To just nua and talk till the cows come home and still not wanting to leave.

We might have age gaps (slightly) but when it comes to opening our mouth to suan people, its never a prob!

FTW my buds! i love how we spend our time together! And of course, i really wish to have Ju, Justina and Lee Fong with us. The more the merrier. The more Lee Fong and Xu Yang talks, the more the laughter there will be?

Love you people!

08 December 2011.

2011-12-09T00:15:00.001+08:00

A remarkable date to be noted down in my calendar. The 1st day at work in AIA was exactly a year ago. How time flies, in a blink of an eye a year has passed and i’m slowly moving on with life.

AIA has indeed taught me tremendous things which i was not being exposed to in my life before and of course my 1st permanent job with an expected salary which also comes with good benefits.

I sincerly praise the Lord and thank Him for opening this door to me. I have been thru almost all sorts of odd jobs, this is what the Lord has given me with.

I am indeed happy to be here.

My friends grew.

From just 3 to 4 to 5 then now to 10! Lunch Khakis are whom i really treasure a lot.We see each other most of the time and esp when its during lunch time, the hour when you can wind down and rest for a bit. The people whom you laugh with, the people whom you complain to about this and that, etc..

I think over the months, i feel that we have developed that more then colleagues feelings. We’re more then just colleagues or lunch khakis, we’re more then friends maybe close friends? Especially people like Joanna, Justina, Juliana and Lee Fong. These girls are whom i had lunch with initially, from 5 – 10 pax now.

i just wana say thank you for those who came in later, Xu Yang, Francis, Sherman, Clarissa and Amanda, thank you for putting the smile on my face each day i go to work. Without you guys, i guess lunch will not be as interesting as what it suppose to be.

15-18th Hong Kong with <3

2011-12-08T23:50:00.001+08:00

i miss the morning breakfast.

honey lemon tea & ribena lemon

Sunrise is <3

the approval from the government.

our wax figure! (:

left the whole dam figure at the airport la. tskk

the lover!! <3

The Peak.

:( cannot even see my dam face leh.

Times Square

So, 15-18th November was what i really anticipated for months and months seems years before it arrived. But once it arrived it seems like time passed like seconds? Or perhaps i really did enjoyed this hong kong trip with the lover.

To begin with, Hong Kong trip was boyfriend’s 23rd present plus his gold necklace ( lets not talk about it) and his23rd falls exactly on the 18th. We actually did thought of planning a longer trip, but he had to attend a friend’s wedding so we had to make the trip rather short. To cut the story short, yes!! we got lost in HONG KONG! :D we explored around the island, eating different kinds of foodie and buying all sort stuff. But none of them was mine. So, anyways, this is the 2nd overseas trip with him.

1st was Batam

2nd is Hong Kong

and 3rd will be Bangkok is March. This time will not be just us alone, will be joining the tour group organized by my sisters and her friends. 1st time and hopefully it will be fun.

Hen Ming Xian de shi, its time to save money for BKK and not forgetting my V1.

I’ll be looking forward to March. Im gonna shop this time i swear. I really regretted for not shopping over Hong Kong, simply because I DO NOT KNOW HOW TO SHOP. With Yan Yi going to BKK together, i am very sure i will do my shopping there.

For now, its time to hit the sheets!

Politicians.

2011-12-08T14:17:00.001+08:00

Maybe thats why I don't feel comfortable in big groups of ppl. We all do have our unique characters and of course individual expectations. Even such a simple friendship, there always bound to have conflicts, disagreements and dislikes; it's inevitable.

The bigger the group of people, the higher the chances of possibility that politics will enter the circle.

I personally don't blame anyone for anything or maybe not understand somethings that ppl actually choose to do. They have their mindset i have mine. For me, I prefer privacy. I prefer to have closed doors. What happens within, stays within. I don't see why others have to step into the picture to comment.

Maybe it's me. Maybe it's time, to take a step back and not get too involved in whatsoever that is going around. Shall not invest on a friendship which might eventually turn out into hatred. No point.

Motivation.

2011-12-08T14:02:00.001+08:00

I'll see you in March!

23rd with the boyfriend.

2011-10-27T00:09:00.001+08:00

Birthday Gift!

i forgot what is this already. But i think its my Sirloin.

my chawamushi. its tasted super nice!!

boyfriend’s lamb shank.

soft shell crab.

country style mushroom soup.

double boiled beef soup.

the little surprise from Boyfriend.

Happy 23rd to myself! it was really a pleasure to share this super wonderful occasion with him, maybe cos for that 24 hours i was treated like a princess, unlike the other days, that day was indeed special.

Boyfriend had planned for that evening.

1) We went to Vivo to collect our movie tickets for Reel Steel! It wasn’t just the ordinary movie theatre, we went to GV Gold, first time experiencing the super atas chair. It was spacious and the best part was it was remote controlled and there was blanket too.

2) We went to this Fine Dining Restaurant, also 1st time experiencing such nice ambience and the 7 course dinner was FANTABULOUS to the maximum.

Time passed too fast to believe that the day is ending, but yes. I really did enjoyed myself.

Thanks for making that day felt so special!

Impromtu Timbre with the sisters, boyfriends and chen ying.

2011-10-26T23:29:00.001+08:00

This was a impromptu or planned dinner with the sisters, boyfriends and with chen ying right after my birthday celebration with the colleagues the previous night. 2 nights of Timbre in a row is really sinful, esp with the amount of pizza that i’m taking in.

Anyways, this was the 1st time that we had this little outing with the people and i still enjoyed it very much.

the lover.

2011-10-26T23:08:00.001+08:00

:(

2011-10-22T23:49:00.001+08:00

Hell yeah! It sucks to cry to bed but when only crying will bring you to bed. It burns the heart, the eyes and the amount of tears that are being used up. Its tiring to cry.

2011-10-22T19:19:00.001+08:00

May I?

Desperate for your love?

2011-10-21T22:58:00.001+08:00

I can't believe that I actually begged for your love. That's how desperate I am.

All the words.

2011-10-21T22:57:00.001+08:00

"I'm more happy then you to have you around. In the past, I might have wasted a lot of your time, but this time round I will give you my best and I will prove it to you everyday"

23rd.

2011-10-15T10:53:00.001+08:00

Thanks to all who made my 23rd a super memorable one!! :D

Will soon upload all the pictures after compiling them.

365th day.

2011-10-15T03:14:00.001+08:00

04.10.2011

The best surprise that I've ever had. I received a lot of comments like only one year meh? Don't fake la.. You know such comments? But ya, even if it's not just the 1st year, not the first 365th day, but it's the 1st time, in so many years that I've got to enjoy such lovely experience. A year may seem rather short, but then again, a year for many will teach us valuable lessons. It wasn't easy for us, we went thru many obstacles, compromising, putting up with each others attitude and stuff, but I'm glad I've learnt it and I have also seen the change in both of us who are willing to make a change for this relationship.

Once again, thanks you for this special day. You gave me a chance to go thru each and everyday with you.

So sour..

2011-10-15T03:05:00.001+08:00

I know I shouldn't be feeling this way. I know. It sucks.

The 70th (:

2011-09-26T08:47:00.001+08:00

Had a blast on Saturday Evening with of course my family members and sisters friends, it was granny's 70th b'day we're celebrating for course would be looking forward to her 80th! Hopefully by the time she's 80th, she'll be able to be the great-grand mother of more and not only 3!

Wishing her the happiest 70th, may God be with her! (:

Hi there.

2011-09-15T21:27:00.001+08:00

Since I have found the app for blogger, I guess I will be back with blogging?
Kinda miss the days when I have the free time to update about my life and reading thru peoples blog too..

(:

8 months 8 days.

2011-06-12T15:05:00.001+08:00

Its been the 4th time that we have ended this relationship in this 8 months odd relationship. Last night, we have decided to call it quits. 4th time, I guess this will be the last time we’re calling this quits. Both of us are feeling tired after all that has happened.

It hurts. Its really uneasy.

But i guess this is the only way to allow both of us to be happy once again?

…

2011-06-09T23:15:00.001+08:00

After what happened this evening at work, realized something. Something that have had lost. something which i no longer see it in my life anymore.

Affirmation.

You will never know how important it is to have this feeling of affirmation in your life till you've lost and find it back.

At times,when I'm facing the toughest time in my life,i do really expect my loved ones to be there, to give me a helping hand, to give me the encouragement, the moral support and the affirmation that bad times will be over soon. I mean even if its not gonna be over any time soon, i will be happier to hear that they will be there for me at any times no matter what will the outcome be.

It doesn’t seem that way.

It seems like the world changes according to my mood. When I’m feeling down, the world just turns upset too. When I’m happy, the world is happy. AND yes, when I’m down, my world is already crumbling down and all i need is just a listener a shoulder that i know i can rely on, someone whom i know i can trust them enough to tell them how and what i feel, someone who can just shut up and listen to me.

But why? why am i alone? why do i have to face this myself?

I’m afraid in confiding someone whom i can consider my soul partner.

I’m just afraid that if i accidentally said something wrong, BOOM!! quarrels and fights will begin between us again and there! another “problem” arise.

What is wrong? I just can’t somehow find the answer to this.

Often i ask myself,

am i really that demanding?

am i selfish?

am i really unreasonable?

am i this .. am i not?

time after time, my confidence level just drop gradually till it eventually hits zero. Perhaps, that’s where i start being a nuisance. Start behaving like a bitch and slowly but surely my insecurity level starts rising. As it gets higher, it gets out of control, emotionally and mentally strained and i expect more. So when expectations are not met, i get upset and maybe that’s where i start asking him to provide me with the sense of security. Which i guess, not possible? or maybe what he has given is not what i needed?

I think its all a cycle.

Insecurity leads to jealousy. Jealousy leads to anxiety. Anxiety leads to higher expectations. When expectations are not met, insecurity starts to kick in.

Its never ending i guess?

How?

to accept or not?

2011-06-07T00:05:00.000+08:00

It is out of unwillngness that I have to face the acceptance.

I have no choice but to force myself to accept.

appreciated.

2011-06-06T01:18:00.000+08:00

Have you ever felt the need to be appreciated by your partner?

I'm desperately in need to feel appreciated for things that I've done and tried my best.

i’ve lost the touch.

2011-05-20T23:59:00.001+08:00

its been ages since i last touched my camera.

these are the few that I've taken over the months. Seriously, i can hardly find the time and the energy to go out for walks and also I'm running dry on my brain juices as to where i can pretty pictures.

In desperate need to extend my weekends and energy to keep my body going. i have got not enough time to keep up with my hobby and friends too i guess?

AIA SPORTY DAY!

2011-05-20T23:15:00.001+08:00

One of the rare chance when we’re able to leave the office as a whole department. This time round, we had the outing with the people from Alex too!

So, the event was held at Mount Faber Safra and it was crazily far to travel home after the event. But nevertheless, i had fun with the girls and of course bowling ball!! How much i really miss bowling!

“The Best Friday” has finally ended.

2011-05-08T11:38:00.001+08:00

The Best Friday album has finally uploaded completely. (:

It has been the greatest pleasure knowing that, despite daddy’s departure we are still a happy family and thank God for the providence! <3

Good Friday? The Best Friday part 2

2011-04-24T17:21:00.001+08:00

see who cheated? haha

2011-04-23T20:39:00.001+08:00

do some damage.

will be back with the complete update as soon as i can.

Windows Live decided to die on me! :(

textiles. hawkers.cobblers.ah peks.Chinatown.

2011-04-23T18:54:00.001+08:00

my first trail for street photography. never once i’ve tried capturing the lives of people.

What inspired me to try out street photography?

I think its Cause’ of Ralph pictures that i look at whenever he upload new pictures. I like how he capture innocent smiles of the kids on the streets and what people usually do on a daily basis.

i gave it a try. It wasn’t that fantastic, i should say. But for a start i think i did good. Cos all this while, i find it really awkward to stand right in front of them and snapping shots and what they are doing and receives stares from people along the streets too.

So, i think, i did well, for taking the 1st step out to learn how to ignore those stares and concentrate on my pictures instead of focusing at why are they looking at me.

p.s Again, i’m just in the midst of learning and trying to improve on my pictures, so i hope by chance, if anyone of you out there, wouldn’t mind sharing your opinion and to how i may improve my pictures, do drop me comment(s) in my comment box.

thanks and very much appreciated!

2011-04-18T21:24:00.001+08:00

Boy, i just hope that i am not an Option in your life, for you’re an priority in mine.

2011-04-18T21:23:00.001+08:00

could we ever be that close,again?

2011-04-18T21:15:00.001+08:00

i’m thankful for what happened.

i hope both of us has learnt our lessons and not to commit the same mistakes again.

When things often don’t go right..

2011-04-17T22:11:00.001+08:00

I will have to remind myself that

2011-04-17T22:06:00.001+08:00

2011-04-17T22:04:00.001+08:00

“Sometimes there is nothing to be said. Sometimes nothing should be said. I just want to find someone who won’t run away. Someone to look me in the eyes and tell me it’s okay that things don’t always go right. That this is how life works, and how it will always work. That it’s not going to be easy. Today, tomorrow, the next day, but it will somehow get better”

its all just a wishful part of my thinking..

2011-04-17T21:56:00.001+08:00

cause’ i know it will never happen.

spell the word “u.n.d.e.r.s.t.a.n.d.i.ng”

2011-04-17T21:32:00.001+08:00

i was told that i was being expected to be an understanding girlfriend when my boyfriend told me that he had to meet his friends when we’re in the middle of a “date” ( for me it was, and always as long as i have the chance to be out with him), reason being, cause’ he haven’t met them for ages, because of me.

That was what i was being told. To be understanding. I tried searching for a reason as to why i should be understanding when i was being asked to go home just because his friends asked him out? i found no reason.

He reasoned out to me this. ALL this while he has been spending almost all of the time with me and has rejected his friends for me. Then again, i recalled, most of the times, when he was asked by his friends to join them and i asked him to join them too, his answer was “ no $$ “. Even if it was for me, why can’t he tell me that it was for me? why can’t he tell me that i was the reason he wants to be with at the point in time? So, how should i have thought when i was told to be understanding? i felt like crying. really. i kept asking myself, what was i being treated as? an option? or what? more than often, i was being told that i’m being selfish for not sparing a thought for him, but is it wrong to protect myself, my naked hurt from being hurt time after time? maybe it is wrong. maybe. or whatever that i do, is just a mistake.

More then often, we both know that we do not agree on many things in life. He prefers to go on vacation with his friends, and me, being the silly one, fantasized about going on Europe trip, Hong Kong and where so ever the plane and our money will be able to bring us to. That’s one. Simple yet complicating.

Sometimes, i really wished that “talking things out” will be easy. or easier to communicate. But how to? when there is no communication flow at all? we all have our reasons for carrying out the things we do, say and think. But at the end of the day, are we being judged and being held accountable for whatever we do, say or think by our partner?

p.s perhaps i was/am being selfish, always making things difficult for you. i’m sorry if i can’t carry out the things you’ve expected me to do. Sorry for everything, including being a selfish girlfriend.

2011-04-17T15:44:00.001+08:00

Boy, let me believe that i’m not reaching out to something that has already gone.

Just U & I.

2011-04-17T15:41:00.001+08:00

at times, i really thank you for being in my life.

Something that i have learnt in life.

2011-04-14T22:27:00.001+08:00

hope you did too.

2011-04-14T22:20:00.001+08:00

Marriage.

2011-04-09T21:26:00.001+08:00

Marriage today is like a tattoo that is printed on our skin. Initially, Pretty, cool, “shiok” and what else? just name it. But as we grow older, our skin sag, our tattoo gradually shrink with our skin and eventually turn out ugly. Like a piece of algae stuck with you till you bring it into the coffin.

Settling down, setting up a family will no longer be my top priority. I’ve prayed about this matter more then once and i finally got the answer.

All this while I was eagerly waiting for someone whom I can settle down with, my next half life happily with, having my own apartment and to bare my children, to own a family car so we can always have family weekend outings on Sundays. But i guess, sadly,but fortunately i have come to a realization or rather God has shown me that do not rush for some things that doesn’t belong to me. No doubt that having my 1st child at the age of 26 is what i wanted all this while, reason being i want to have 4 children, i want a big family like what i have now.

I mean, this is what all of the women want in our lives right?

But, above all are just things that I want, perhaps not what God wants.

If i were to rush things out, what will i get eventually? The results are pretty obvious ya?

In Matthew 6:19 – “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.”

Things that I want might not work out eventually without God’s guidance and blessings, but in time to come, when God thinks that i’m ready to handle the things that He has prepared for me, it will be much better and of course it will bring me closer to God.

This is happiness.

Marriage is suppose to be a happy thing.

Marriage is all about LOVE;

what is love?

“Love is patient, love is kind.

It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud”. – 1 Corinthians 13:4

“爱是恒久忍耐，又有恩慈。爱是不嫉妒，不自夸，不张狂”；- 1 歌林多前書 13:4

Marriage is something that you only do once in your life time, you walk down the aisle in your glamorous gown, holding your dad’s arm in your arm, exchanging vows, exchanging wedding rings, committing to commitments ( and not yes yes yes for the sake of yes-ing), kissing the bride/bridegroom and starting your whole life anew with a partner that you love dearly, putting everything of the past behind and start anew. This is what marriage is?

I think the whole idea of the “dad passing his daughter’s hand to the bridegroom”, is a sign of trust that he is very sure that the bridegroom will take her hand and provide her with the utmost respect and happiness.

But today, love is not spelt this way anymore. Divorcee rates are increasing. Short gun marriages, adultery, disloyalty, unfaithfulness etc…

These signs of failing marriages have greatly disappointed and discouraged my deeply.

I do not see the point in getting married to someone who can’t give me/us(the relationship) the assurance that he will be able to love me as long as i live, through bad times, and sickness. Who is not able to say that “ yes, i swear, i love you from the bottom of my heart” and not by just mere saying but to be able to carry out his words.

It is not easy to persevere, this we all know. But what we all also know is that, the world out there is full of materialistic people, people who are after lust.. I am sure that many of us, has already witnessed people around us getting married and then divorced.

“Each man should have his own wife, and each woman her own husband. The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife.” 1 Corinthian 7 :1-5

I do not mean that, marriage is a bad thing, but to conclude, find the right one. Open not only your eyes wide; open your heart wider! Let Go, Let God.

Let Him decide.

<3

2011-04-04T22:57:00.001+08:00

“Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain:

but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised.

Give her of the fruit her hands; and let her own works praise her in the gates”

p.s dawn, thanks for the encouragement ! :D

Maybe..

2011-04-03T23:18:00.001+08:00

I’m different from the rest of the girls out there.

I don’t have any social skills that others do,

I am the type of person who is rather introvert, i don’t talk much,

i am not as pretty like what others are.

Self-confidence? zero

self-esteem? zero

what else have i got?

what makes me think that i’ll make a good partner, a good mother, a filial daughter, a good employer

and of course a good servant for God.

nothing.

At times i really question myself and God,

why am i here?

what am i doing in this world?

I can’t find the specific answer.

WHY?

why must my life be different from others?

why must it be my daddy who is taken away by cancer?

why must i be the only Adventist in the family?

and being mocked at when sharing God’s word?

why must i always be the middle man?

why is crying the only way to put me to sleep at times?

why am the weaker party?

why ..

why must i be living this way?

Lord, all i’m asking is just a simple life. A family, partner who attends church with me every Saturday; who we will be able to stand strong with God’s guidance and pray for each other, saying grace at the dinner table, having Bible studies together, living healthily? Why does it seems so impossible for this to happen?

at the thought of me turning 23 this year, that i yet to get settled down and start a family of mine, i’m really fearful to face the world. i’m not sure if i’m able to be a good mother, wife and to lead the family and having Christ as the head of the family. Cos i do not want to teach my son/daughter about money. Monetary values will depreciate till it will lose it values during the end-time.

p.s i’m so lost? who will be able to understand me? who will be able to straighten out my thoughts?

The Cheezy Night.

2011-04-03T22:40:00.001+08:00

the Cheese Cake Cafe.

p.s if we could remain as cheesy as how we used to be..

Fireproof.

2011-04-01T17:27:00.001+08:00

This movie has made me realized and seen how great God’s love can be.

How wonderful can God’s love change a person’s character. From someone who thinks that he doesn't need God’s love, to someone who prays for forgiveness. Someone whose temper is real bad to someone who is willing to give all to his loved ones and God.

At many a times, i feel that, i admit, i do have the feeling that i am strong enough to overcome obstacles that comes along my way, but what i didn’t realized is that, i do not have the energy and the courage to face. In this show i have learnt, despite the many times that we have rejected God, and His love, He still loves us.

Also, this movie, Fireproof has made my mind starting thinking, how strong is my relationship for both, God and C’? Is it strong enough to withstand the tribulations that has been set upon me/us?

For in John 3:16 it says “ For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten Son that whosoever believeth in Him, should not perish but have everlasting life”

Just the 2 of us.

2011-04-01T00:33:00.001+08:00

Day One.

ready for the departure @ Harbour Front Ferry Terminal.

The super “lau kok kok” van that picked us up at the Batam Centre.

the super cosy but a little creepy room we had!

the whole entire view of Golden View.

The full body massage + scrub that cost us S$30 for i think 2 1/2 hours?

They do serve shark’s meat here..

Day 2.

we had our lunch at this place.

the tidbits we got for our colleagues.

foot and shoulder reflexology @ S$9 for 1 1/2 ..

Dinner @ Cuppa Cafe, which is located at the Lobby of the hotel.

Beef Hor Fun
Tomato soup

Day 3

Breakfast at the cafe too. Didn’t bring my camera down as we thought we’re heading for the pool after breakfast for tanning. It turned out otherwise. No sun = no tanning.

So we went back to the room to pack up and “nua-ed” till 1130 before checking out.

We had our lunch at this franchised Toast Box at the terminal.

The pretty Horizon.

3 days 2 nights gateway was just really nice. Though it was only Batam, a 45 mins trip away from Singapore, but what i really experienced over there was more then just Batam. I’ve seen and felt how fortunate we are to be living in Singapore. We complain, almost everyday as to how work can bring us down and we need a break. That’s us.

But when i look at the citizens residing over at Batam, the standard of living they have there and the pollution that they have to breathe, and of course a small island that is definitely lack of security, i think we should be thankful for what we have, instead of grudging. Cherish is the lesson that most Singaporeans have not learnt.

Other then the fact that i have learnt about the life/people there, I’ve seen my “the other side” of my boyfriend, which i have never in this 9 years seen before.

To put things easier to understand, he’s been a total different person over at Batam compared to when he was in Singapore. I’ve seen the man who is there to look after me no matter what happens, the man who made sure that the room is tidy/clean, the man who took initiatives in deciding the route and the planning, the man who looked after the $$ and the man who never let my hand go.

Probably it was due to the environment there that we both were unfamiliar with, thus he felt the need to “look after” me and made sure I’m alright, but that doesn’t matter. Because at least this wonderful memory will be in me, if there will not be a second time. And i know that all this while, it wasn’t a wrong move to preserve when things didn’t worked out for us.

p.s C’ love, it has been the greatest 3 days 2 nights I've ever had with you. You made me realized that somehow, my feelings for you has deepen and thanks for making me felt like the happiest girl on earth! :D

Just her laughter is enough to make my day! <3

2011-03-31T23:59:00.001+08:00

Take me by the hand and never let it go .. <3

2011-03-31T23:22:00.001+08:00

Hold me tight and never let me go.

The journey might/will take longer then it seems,

but as long as both of us are willing to go thru this together,

I’m sure, we will be there.

p.s C’ love, thanks for making this trip a wonderful one. Cos for once, i really felt like a princess! <3

Abigail Kwa

2011-03-28T00:00:00.001+08:00

My Addiction.

2011-03-27T22:39:00.001+08:00

don’t sleep and drive.

effect of using the wrong mode.

rainbow! (:

It may just be a normal Sunday to most, but for me, its a unusual Sunday with my addiction. A day which i managed to clean up the room, showered and met C’ love.

Went Wee Nam Kee for chicken rice and went to Vivo for a walk. Crap thing was that we actually got lost while trying to find our way up to CTE/AYE and we went ended up coming out from the same exit about 3 times, and finally decided to try another route instead of following the map!

I got my toner spray from Daiso and my foundation sponge that looks like cheesecake and also bobby pins, spent about $6 just like that.

Dinner at East Coast Park, Lagoon!

Today is all about food and non-stop eating! :D

p.s: my new addiction;my boyfriend.

BULB effect.

2011-03-21T23:23:00.001+08:00

my very 1st attempt with the Bulb effect.

2nd attempt with C’ …

<3 you too.

CDH <3

Hi people, this is my 1st/2nd attempt in carrying out this experiment. I’m not sure where can i really improve on, but obviously there is still room for improvement.

If anyone knows how to make this work out better, pretty pretty please, drop me a comment on Blogger, FB or DM on Twitter?

But I’m just wondering how to improve on maybe darker background? Should i increase my f/ points? Cause’ i’m using the lowest ISO which is 100, but its still a bit too bright on the background.

I also understand that, maybe i should not have direct light shining into the lenses, that causes the outer rings to appear? Or perhaps sharper focus?

Advice please?

p.s I’m super excited about this pictures for this is my virgin time. Pardon me if there will be more of these coming up! haha.. maybe with more different colours?

Practice makes perfect.

2011-03-20T21:10:00.001+08:00

“Practice makes perfect” is just a common phrase that we hear in our daily lives. Agree? In the past, i used to “apply” this on my Math subject and i find it total bullshit and i decided to stop practicing.

Today, photography has inspired me much, to seek the truth behind this saying " Practice makes Perfect”. Why? After looking through the wonders of photography and how it actually works, I'm putting it to practice.

Landscape photography – has inspired me to take wonderful pictures. I guess that was where i started falling in love for Photography? I want to take inspirational landscape photographs too. Pictures that will convey a thousand words at the look of it. Viewers will just awe upon looking at it; appreciating it.

Things changed…

I started to learned about awesome photographers, angles, macro, lightings, positioning and my eyes started to look for things around me, places that I’ve went and seen. I realized that i want to be able to produce more pretty pictures like them.

I looked at other people’s pictures and went “wooahh! you serious..?!” and i just simply couldn’t take my eyes off them, because it was just too amazing!

Today,

Photography for me, is not just about Landscaping ; but i learnt about others too.

For instance,

Architectural
Black & White ( using filters) / Monochrome with toning
Mastering Panning – Photographing moving objects
Capturing Motion Blur in Photography
Taking wonderful pictures of Fireworks
Street photography

The above mentioned has really been an eye-opener for me. A lesson that has taught me so much more about this hobby and i want to make it part of me. Something that i will practice till it becomes perfect. I have just embarked on this journey, learning to play with S, A and Bulb mode, it made me went “aww, i didn’t know this” … Gradually, i crave for more than what is shown in the Manual and started searching for more. That’s where i found the secrets behind all these wonderful pictures that made felt like a “mountain turtle” all this while.

Below are just some of the pictures that I've managed to find online and i hope that this may be a lesson or an eye-opener to those who loves photography too!

Just because i saw these pictures, now I'm determined to master this skill. Just give me a month to master this, I’m sure i will be able to make it. (:

Having said so much, i think i should start considering taking Portraits too huh?

Perhaps nature too?

Nature like, Rainbow and waterfall, canyon ( if i ever got the chance to).

ohh! And Bridal Pictures! To be able to take every shot of my girlfriend’s BIG day and give it to them as one of their wedding gift from ME!! :D

p.s photography is something that i will never ever want to give up. cause’ it spells me and create my dreams.

13.03.10’

2011-03-15T00:21:00.001+08:00

Daddy’s passing since 1 year ago.

Dearly missed by each and everyone of us, daddy.

We love you as much as you have loved us! <3

L.I.F.E

2011-03-15T00:05:00.001+08:00

Just a little update on my life.

My life has been pretty mundane ever since i started work 3 months ago. Like what everyone have to face, work, home, home, work. That’s exactly how it works…… at least for me.

Mondays to Fridays, Work, OT, home. Lucky enough i get to spend my evening with boyfriend, if otherwise then OT till 8pm, home, sleep.

Saturdays, are always for my God! Church. Why Saturday? Because Jesus said in the 4th commandment, “keep the Sabbath (Seventh-Day of the week) Holy”

Sundays? Is my free and easy day!! :D

Work. Yes. Work has really been draining me almost totally i can say. I can hardly breathe, but I've got no choice, I'm the oldest and i’m old enough to bring home the daily bread to the family after daddy has left us. But i realize that, after sometime, i really enjoy working till late, clearing all my outstanding stuff and to catch up with the “old birds” at work. I guess, this is one of the satisfaction i find in myself from working hard.

Daddy has once told me, “ if you know that you’re a slow learner, then the more you should put in the double effort. Other kids study for 2 hours, you need to study 4 hours, in order to keep up”. I wouldn’t deny the fact that I'm a slow learner, i take slightly longer to learn a new thing, but i know as long as I'm willing to put in the effort, I'll be able to do it. For in Philippians 4:13 it says “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” Amen?

With this little update, to whom may be reading this, especially to those who thinks that they may fall under the same “category” as me, i pray that this will be a little motivation for you.

But for those who thinks that they’re smart, then good for you. Keep the smart brains of yours in that skull of yours. (:

God Bless.

Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the LORD with all your heart,And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight.”

A little dating with the boyfriend! <3

2011-03-14T22:49:00.001+08:00

My boyfriend’s favorite.

Sorry for the wrong focus point, again.

All times’ favorite!

Although, i really don’t know what is this Merlion Hotel all about, but i find it rather stupid.

wrapping up the night with this picture. <3

sleep. sleep. sleep. eat. walk.talk.car rides.

its been the longest time since we went for a nice date, filled with laughter and happiness.

I think i prefer my boyfriend to sleep more then the average hours he used to sleep. the more he sleep, the better his mood is. trust me.

There was a period of time when he didn’t had enough sleep ( even if he did, his hours was really screwed) and it caused a major PMS during that period of time till i broke down and teared to bed every single night. It was really bad. real bad.

So far, boyfriend has really been a good boy, a super loving boyfriend and never fail to make me laugh. That’s all i need. A simple relationship! (:

Oh.. back to where we were. So yup, afternoon nap at his place. Dinner at MOF cause Waraku Casual Dining has apparently closed down without informing their patrons and we had to go for MOF (Ministry of Food) to satify our cravings for Japanese cuisine. After dinner, we walked and talked under the moon along the Marina Bay, boyfriend finds it “wu liao” but never mind, cause i find it super shiok, to walk hand in hand with your loved ones aimlessly, talking about everything and anything under the moon, its just so relaxing.

I personally feel that i prefer a simple life? I don’t need any surprises (ok la, maybe once in awhile la) or anything to make my life interesting. I prefer planning with my partner and be part of the activity. A simple relationship. A simple family. A simple home. A simple God that lives within me.

Simple?

A simple heart for a simple person like my boyfriend! <3

h.a.p.p.y b.i.r.t.h.d.a.y, WEI HAO!

2011-03-06T15:34:00.001+08:00

Low Shutter Speed with high ISO, with no tripod stand. haha

i don’t know, but i like this picture! its like … there’s some secrets behind this hotel?

Dallas @ Boat Quay.

i ‘ m s o r r y.

2011-02-28T19:17:00.001+08:00

don’t leave me with nothing but the shadow of your back.

Apology at times is not the solution and especially if its a grave mistake made by one.

Neither action speaks louder then words.

I guess sincerity speaks all.

I was the one who committed this folly action and i will face all the consequences that i have to.

Still, thanks for the 2nd chance, for whatever reason that you may have, thank you for stretching your arm out to me for one last time. I will take this lesson learnt seriously.

But i still hope that, in time to come, you will slowly open up yourself to trust me again.Like how i yearn for yours too. It works two-ways. Trust envelopes commitment, emotions and relationship between the both parties.

That’s what is trust about.

I will do my best to earn back every bit and pieces of them, but i secretly pray that you will do the same to assure my insecurities.

What is love to me?

“Love suffers long and is kind;

love does not envy;

love does not parade itself, is not puffed up;

does not behave rudely,

does not seek its own,

is not provoked, thinks no evil;

does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth;

bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8

“爱是恒久忍耐，又有恩慈；爱是不嫉妒；爱是不自夸，不张狂，不做害羞的事，不求自己的益处，不轻易发怒，不计算人的恶，不喜欢不义，只喜欢真理；凡事包容，凡事相信，凡事盼望，凡事忍耐。

爱是永不止息。” 歌林多前書 13 : 4-8

“There are three things that will endure--faith, hope, and love--and the greatest of these is love.” – 1 Corinthians 4 : 13

This is it.

2011-02-28T07:57:00.001+08:00

i guess its all too late to do the apologizing and stuff now. Simply because its all too late. I broke the trust he had for me, the confidence and the love for me.

Time after time, i guess like what he had said, i never put myself into his shoes before. Or even if i did, it was for the wrong thing. Where was i when he needed me to face my family? What was i thinking when all the questions was thrown to him? I simply thought it was just a mere question that has been put thru, but never did i thought that ya, he needed me that much to provide my family with the answer that i was tired.

And thanks to my square headed brain, i actually made a friend (ex boyfriend) on FB again and why? Just to spite him. Just wanted him to know that i could live without him. Just to let him feel that its “normal” to be friends again?! Smart of me right? And now, things come through already. Now that i really have to let him see that i could live without him and its “okay” to be friends again.

What was i really thinking? Before doing all this stuff, have i really thought of the consequences that i had to face? NEVER. So now, what’s the consequences that i have to face? Its not just a mere breakup! Its more than that. Its him losing the trust that he had for me.

No?

Seriously speaking, i really find a problem with myself. Previously, when i faced a breakup with Mingus, it was also due to what? Trust, FB and commitment issues and needless to say, according to Mingus, he said he felt betrayed.

Today? Same thing. Trust, FB and betrayal of trust again. The problem obviously lies with me right? If it happens once maybe, i’m saying maybe its my fault. But no, this is the 2nd time and almost similar problem.

http://www.valerea.blogspot.com/

Hmm.. i did all i can just to prove my innocence that we have got nothing in between us. I mean come on la, its still obvious that Mingus has moved on with his girlfriend already, and IF i really still had feelings for Mingus then why in the hell would i …………… try to prove everything i can just to make this relationship work again.

I’m willing to start from scratch to build up the trust that he had lost. But i know it will not be easy, if he choose not to believe and open up his heart to me again. And ya, if this happens, i guess i’ll be expecting the same results after a few months down the road. I’ve seen how Tang is trying to build up the trust in his relationship with cousin and cousin being the conservative one, refuse to open up to him anymore. For one obvious reason, Tang is having a hard time persuading and giving her the assurance that he’s true to her.

On myside, i’m not sure if i can make it.

I don’t have the confidence that i will be able to make it.

I don’t have the confidence that i will be able to make it up to him and the losses.

( all of the above is just a IF ever he returns)

The bottom line of all this: i am not mature enough to handle a relationship,when all along i thought i am.

Self-deception.

Today, i know i have to let go. Cos i know that 99% i will expect bad news. But at least i know there’s a glimpse of 0.01% hope when he said he will try and reconsider this relationship.

I pray for strength to face the future without him. The courage to move on. And for the time being, to know what i/we really need/want.

p.s Boy, you will never be able to read this post, cause’ this blog is kept away from you.

Saying sorry doesn’t help neither will it heal the wounds or bring back the trust you had for me. But I’m really sorry for all that i have done and seek for your forgiveness.

And i hope that things will get better if were to get back together.

Or otherwise, it will be easier for me to move on and to take in all these blames for causing the breakdown in this relationship.

“Trust is indeed the most difficult thing to earn, yet the easiest to lose”

Fcuk Trust.

A new beginning.

2011-02-27T17:43:00.001+08:00

Decided to start off with a new blogging environment as i will be transiting into a new life soon.

A new start means being more dependent on God and relying on His guidance and will. Cause’ for all i know is that I'm nothing without Him. Like a durian shell without the durian meat in there.

A new start will also mean that, i will have to learn to leave everything behind and start a new. No doubt that, there will new challenges that i will have to face, but i know that I’m able to do all things through Christ who strengthens me.

A new future awaits for me and i have to move on.

Time wouldn’t have the time to wait for anyone and I'm behind time, I'm behind the world and most of the people that i know.

Whatever the outcome will be, I'm prepared! Because either way, i think I'm strong enough to see the problems and handle them maturely. Ya?

Thanks for all my friends support all this while. Be it shi yun, dawn or whoever that is out there, thanks for your help.

I’m fine and will promise to stay strong like Goliath ( in size) , David ( having faith in God)!

m i s s e s .

2011-02-27T17:17:00.001+08:00

“ The worst kind of pain is when you're smiling just to stop the tears from falling ”